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EXCLUSIVE 'DOGGY' ACTION.  LONDON, 21 JULY 2008: 'DOG BOY' BITES SELF.

Unrelated 'Doggy' image.
Police today arrested an eighteen year old youth on suspicion of being a fighting dog/ boy. The youth - known locally as 'Dog Boy' and/ or 'Weird Keith' - was discovered by police, gnawing at his own leg in front of a group of baying worker-class males within the confines of an east-London public house establishment. Police describe his condition as 'seriously' and 'unstable'.

NEWS BOMB.  LONDON, 21 JULY 2008: WELSH UNIVERSITY TO BE NAMED 'ENGLISH BASTARDS'.
Wales announced today that its newest educational establishment is to be named 'English Bastards University'. The potentially controversial name was selected by a Welshman who wished to remain anonymous. In a statement, he commented: "We wanted the University to have a historic name - thus 'English Bastards' was the natural choice, as we Welsh can trace referring to the English as 'Bastards' back to the Roman period". An unidentified lecturer said [that he hoped]: "Students should at least leave with the knowledge that the English are bastards, if nothing else".

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